Bid to win Lunch with the Smartest Man at M.I.T., Alan V. Oppenheim!
The Massachusetts Institute of Technology has produced no rap stars. No stand up comics have matriculated from these ivy-covered halls. Underwear models? Not a one. M.I.T. is known for only one thing—producing the greatest engineering minds in the world. Now, for the first time, through the generosity of one of their most esteemed, you have the opportunity to be introduced to this most elite center of learning in a most unique way. Ford Professor of Engineering, Alan V. Oppenheim, Guggenheim Fellow, Sackler Fellow and MacVicar Fellow, author of countless books, papers and dissertations, would be delighted to escort you on a tour of the campus and then break bread with you over lunch.There he will answer any and all questions you may have about this august institute of higher learning, or, his singular passion for signal processing and all that it entails in modern day life. (Those Bose noise-cancelling headphones you’re wearing? You can thank signal processing for those.) When have you had access to an intellect of this caliber? Sure, your neighbor’s kid created a bitmoji that looks exactly like you. This is an entirely different order of magnitude.
Professor Alan V. Oppenheim is a principal investigator in the Research Laboratory of Electronics (RLE) at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. He received the S.B. and S.M. degrees in 1961 and the Sc.D. degree in 1964, all in electrical engineering, from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. He is also the recipient of an honorary doctorate from Tel Aviv University. In 1964, Professor Oppenheim joined the faculty at MIT, where he is currently Ford Professor of Engineering in the Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science. Since 1967 he has been affiliated with MIT Lincoln Laboratory and since 1977 with the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution. His research interests are in the general area of signal processing and its applications. He is coauthor of the widely used textbooks Digital Signal Processing, Discrete-Time Signal Processing which is in it’s third edition and Signals and Systems which is in it’s second edition. He is also editor of several advanced books on signal processing. His CV goes on for pages. Students of signal processing at M.I.T. are no doubt using textbooks that Prof. Oppenheim wrote. And you will have his complete and undivided attention. Imagine what you could do with this opportunity.
Al Oppenheim’s life is the stuff movies are made of. He is M.I.T.’s national treasure. In spite of all the awards, commendations and accolades heaped upon him, Prof. Oppenheim appears in real life to be a perfectly normal human. He speaks in English that anyone can understand. He likes avocado toast. He is a devoted student of the art of magic (just like Howard Wolowitz of the Big Bang Theory.) He laughs easily and often. He just happens to have an extraordinary brain. How smart is he? To quote Vizzini from The Princess Bride, “Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons.” Do not be confused—lunch with Prof. Oppenheim will NOT be like visiting the Genius Bar at the Apple Store. In addition, the winning bidder will receive a personally autographed copy of Prof. Oppenheim’s book, Signals, Systems and Inference.